The Best Argument Ever Lost
by Dave DeCastris
About the Print:
“The best argument ever lost.”
In October of 2007, after 6 months of begging to get a dog, my 8th* wife at the time called me on her cell from the Winnebago County animal rescue shelter. She was determined to get us a dog despite many reasons why I thought we shouldn’t have a dog yet. #8 called me from the pound and asked if I could take a break from work. So I did, grabbed my keys and headed to the pound expecting another redundant common person discussion about why I didn’t want a dog. Common people domestic topics are just instigators for yawning. Seriously though here’s the general outline on common people domestic livin- man meet woman, woman love man, man love woman, date, engage, marry, house, white picket fence, get doggy to see if we can take care of a baby one day, test parental skills with animal, sure, get doggy, oh look we like making doggy happy, we are good parents aren’t we, let’s make baby. Yawn. I am a common man with common people issues, who cares? Not me, burn that handbook.
I show up and I’m greeted with all the noise, the barking, the crying animals- completely annoying to someone like me with focus issues. #8 takes me to the cage where the best argument ever lost never occurred. She sat there, eyes focused on us, a picture perfect moment, and most importantly- not barking like the rest of the dogs in there. I looked at the name tag and saw “Mixed Pitbull. Abandoned/Lost” and then turned to my wife and said, “Oh cmon it’s a pitbull.” #8 said, “What’s wrong with that?” So I simply shot back, “What’s wrong is 1. it’s a pitbull and 2. our home insurance is gonna go up. 3. I don’t want a dog yet.” No argument developed strangely, just begging, and as most married men know- begging means the door is open to make some deals! Just agree to be wrong when you know you have logical reasons to be right. None of it matters. I was sweet talked into taking her into a room, and then outside, she ran like Barry Sanders I thought, ‘she looks like a cow-dog-pig, and man, yeah, she’s unlike the pitbulls I hear about from racists or crazy white people.’ #8 spotted a winner, an angel I swear, and I agreed but not without one last boneheaded comment, “Well, fine, if I see anything funny out of her, anything, she’s coming back here.” It’s been 2 years now. Sadie, the best argument ever lost watches over me. My friends and family stop by to see her- not me. Everyone she meets she expects love n’ attention, and a few new nicknames- because she really deserves it. She is unconditional love. And that’s about it. Thank you #8.
(Note: I’ve had 8 wives in the past 14 years, and all of them left me because I refuse to make the baby. However, I’m open to cash payments for my DNA with no future financial responsibilities. None of this matters. Again I’ve wasted more time, yours, mine, ours. The end.)
By Dave DeCastris. An archival pigment print.
This print is no longer available from Wallblank. It is shown here (and will remain) for archive purposes.
Print Details:
Museum Quality Pigment Print
Our prints are made with the highest quality inks on the finest archival papers available. The size stated is the size of the image; an additional border is added for ease of framing & handling.
